The expanses of WolfWings' land
scratched on the wall for all to see

March 27th, 2004
March 27th, 2004
March 27th, 2004
March 27th, 2004
March 27th, 2004

[User Picture]03:32 am - *sigh* I'm late, and I know it. =^.6=

I know I said we'd post our thoughts on religion tonight (Friday), dearest... I've just been so busy planning my move up north, and getting ready for my driving lessons today, tommorow, and Monday, and to go down and visit Mana... I haven't sat down to write out all my issues with religion in the first place. =-.-=

It's not that I have anything against religion... but I'm wary of it. I've been stung by the stereotypical 'bible thumpers' of numerous different religions in the past, and it's made me wary, likely overly so.

When I was growing up in central California, I already knew I didn't particularly care for all females, but had a definite thing for males. I had to actively hide that fact for over three years, because I had a bad enough time being asked 'so what church do you go to?' repeatedly every week at school. Let alone that I made a point of changing my speech to omit 'Under God' from the Pledge of Allegience entirely, re-wording the flow of words to the original Pledge as it was written in the first place, once I learned of it.

I'd had people, on more than one occasion, offer to go out with me, if I'd go to church with them. After a while, I gave up trying to ignore people, and would go just to shut them up. Wrong reason, I know, and it only made things worse. That I started explaining I believed in Native American beliefs only fueled the hastles I had at school further. =-.-=

I... I wish I could explain why I'm so cautious more elagantly... but for now I'll just appologize. Religion, and discussion about it, stirs a deep-seated fear in my gut because it's been the source of a lot of hastles when I was growing up in middle school. The same age when I was (literally) dodging pickup trucks that were driving far off-road to get to the trail I used to and from school, trying to hit me or having groups of people jump out to chase me, just for being me and not hiding my beliefs and opinions that happened to oppose those around me.

I still love you, mira_fastfire, and want to work through this... I just don't know how to, or even if I can any time in the next decade or more still. =-.-= I've just started to realize how much of a deep-seated trigger (yes, a trigger) religious discussion and some aspects are for me, of any kind, but especially those related to Jewish, or Christian beliefs. I'm accepting of the practices, but extended discussion of those practices makes me cringe and back away consciously and subconsciously. =-.-=

Anyways... I'm going to be heading down to Mana's tommorow for the weekend. Amusingly my last two driving lessons will be down to Mana's and back from Mana's place, so that's convenient. =^.^=4 commentsLeave a comment

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