02:58 am - Every time I look as job postings...
...I immediately feel terrified.
I've never, not a single time in my life
had any resume I've ever written, cajoled others into writing, payed others to write, developed with books, web-pages, or other training manuals, ever get me an interview. Once, ever, I've gotten an e-mail saying, "Thanks, but your resume isn't useful. Please re-submit in XYZ form." That's the best response I've ever gotten from a resume.
At the same time, I really do think I'm just not employable at any of these wonderful tech-related companies. My instincts tell me that a web-comic interface is horribly coded, clunky, and looks like shite in a dozen different ways, but it works everywhere I test it, and nobody else ever seems to notice the levels of suck-i-tude.
Knowing all my artist friends, I know this 'reaction' seems like any other artist looking at their art, wondering how the hell they can charge anything at all for something that they see nothing but flaws in... and yet, I can't push aside that feeling, and the linked-in dread of 'what if I do get hired? Can I actually do good work, or will I just get fired in the first month, and on some magical black-list circled around in the back alleys between mega-corps that somehow makes sure I'll never work again?
' Stupid thoughts, I know.
But I just can't stop thinking them no matter how hard I try.
In a way, I wish I was in your place, mira_fastfire
, just because you're making so much more with your life. I feel that for all my natural talents, I never got enough proper training to hone my computer skills. You'll quickly surpass any skills I have, just because you're getting the practice, and books, and other collected knowledge I've had to waste so much of my time re-inventing in my life.
I just wish I could get over this terror of anything job-hunt related, so I could get a job that payed more than $15/hour again. The only time I did, I showed up in person with someone that already worked there that had arranged things, and waited until they gave me an interview. To be honest, so far ALL of my jobs outside of 'anyone with a high school diploma can get them' ones have been gotten for me by someone else arranging an interview without any resume involved, in my only other noteworth case not even being given a proper NDA or interview and all that until months after I'd already started getting paychecks, at the time of my first christmas bonus as I recall.14 comments